I gave up submitting to the New Yorker caption contest after my submissions below were somehow overlooked.
- I couldn’t defend Enron until they gave me rat stem-cells.
- Bet you $10 I can eat more cheese than you.
- Kids say I make the best hand shadows.
- You know, you look a lot different than your online photo.
- Walter, I don’t approve of this career move. You weren’t even funny for an accountant.
- My ad said “Looking for a man with big bucks,” not big yucks.
- Sorry to be so picky, but protocol also states that the firing squad must have a pirate, an astronaut, and a ballerina.
- Did you check our fertility doctor’s credentials?
- Sometimes I wonder if leading sexual harassment training seminars was really the right choice for me.
- It’s been awkward since they switched me to the day shift.