Category Archives: Miscellaneous Jive

Welcome to my Blogoir (Blog/Memoir)

I’m a neophiliac, addicted to new experiences. I’ll watch a TV show about people who dive for sunken treasure and for days that’s all I can think about. I pass a funeral home and wonder what it would feel like … Continue reading

Posted in Miscellaneous Jive

Battle of the Sexes

Here’s a random gig I found on Craigslist — writing trivia questions for the makers of the board game Battle of the Sexes. Some of my dude questions for the ladies What movie was about the failed American military mission … Continue reading

Posted in Miscellaneous Jive

Ruminations 5

Baby edition Why does my seven-month-old son have more clothes than I do? Why does he look like Winston Churchill? Why do I sterilize his bottles when he’s going to lick my shoe anyway? Why do people point at him … Continue reading

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Ruminations 4

Why are today’s youth such wusses?  Consider their horror movies.  When I was a kid horror movies were about actual monsters: Frankenstein, Dracula, the Wolf Man, the Blob, the Beast from 20,000 Fathoms.  Today’s kids are petrified of everyday stuff … Continue reading

Posted in Miscellaneous Jive, Ruminations

Ruminations 3

Do you know what the most insincere “God bless you” you’ll ever hear is?  The one that comes from a panhandler you just turned down. “Hey, man, spare some change?” “Sorry.” “God bless you.” Don’t you love it when you … Continue reading

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Ruminations 2

Do you ever look at your cupboards and freezer and wonder how long you could survive by just eating what you have in the house?  Could I last for three weeks?  Three months?  I don’t know.  And what would be … Continue reading

Posted in Miscellaneous Jive, Ruminations

Ruminations 1

Do you ever drop your business card in those restaurant fishbowls to try to win a free lunch? If so, watch out. Because I like to reach in and swipe a handful. Then I take them with me to nightclubs. … Continue reading

Posted in Miscellaneous Jive, Ruminations

Fifth Third Bank

Today I got some junk mail from the Fifth Third Bank.  Or as I like to call them, the One and Two-Thirds Bank.  Their slogan should be “We are a bank… and then some.” They are a lot more honest … Continue reading

Posted in Miscellaneous Jive

Greeting Cards

Most greeting cards are trite, insipid, and lame. But not the Selfish Kitty line of Calypso Cards. Just for fun I decided to write some cards for them. Here are a few they bought: Here are some they didn’t: Occasion … Continue reading

Posted in Miscellaneous Jive

Ten Random Facts for the Insatiably Curious

I have never been able to see the hidden images in “Magic Eye” posters. In high school I could ride a unicycle and juggle at the same time, but I doubt I could do it today. I used to live … Continue reading

Posted in Miscellaneous Jive