Category Archives: Show Business Humiliations

Yippie-Ki-Yay, Mr. Falcon

I had no idea my neighbor was a model. Tracy was cute I suppose, but not arresting. Hardly worth peeking at through the Venetian blinds of my upstairs guest room while she sunbathed in her backyard in her amethyst bikini, … Continue reading

Posted in Essays, Hijinks, Show Business Humiliations

Nordstrom Is My Closet

As a model I have a dirty little secret to confess. No, it’s not the fact that I found Zoolander hilarious. My secret is about dirty clothes—clothes I buy, wear on modeling shoots, then return to the store for resale … Continue reading

Posted in Essays, Show Business Humiliations

How to Become an Author

In 1997 I became a published author with St. Martin’s Press. As a public service, I thought I’d share my secrets to making it in this highly competitive field. The sequence of events which brought my Little Book of Bad … Continue reading

Posted in Essays, Show Business Humiliations

Guy on the Box

Once in a while my agent Jennifer calls with a direct booking—no go-see required—causing me to do a conga dance in my apartment. But most of the time, clients need to see models before hiring them. That’s because they’ve all … Continue reading

Posted in Essays, Show Business Humiliations

You Want a Piece of Me?

If fashion models are Ferraris, then I am a 1999 Honda Accord with 300,000 miles on it, rusting in the junkyard—far from showroom condition but good enough for parts: hair, kidneys, what have you, but mostly hands. Back when Internet … Continue reading

Posted in Essays, Show Business Humiliations

Brad and Me

“How would you like to be Brad Pitt’s stand-in on a movie called The Devil’s Own?” the casting director asked me. I don’t see the resemblance but who am I to argue? As an aerospace engineer, this couldn’t be further … Continue reading

Posted in Collegiate Capers, Essays, Hijinks, Show Business Humiliations

Famous for Something I Never Did

I was flipping through Mental Floss magazine some years ago and noticed that they listed Leonid Brezhnev as leader of the Soviet Union from 1977 to 1982.  I guess that’s technically true, but he actually ruled the Russian roost quite … Continue reading

Posted in Collegiate Capers, Show Business Humiliations